The Other Child & The 2nd Mom - Montana & Judi

Normally, Montana is front and center. She is our second child and 2.5 years younger than Hudson. She wanted to help. Of course. She had a full time job as a pool manager and a summer diving coach. She was also still competing in the summer league (Montgomery County Diving League) with her last year of eligibility (and I missed THE WHOLE SEASON!). In addition to that, she was practicing with her coach, Anton Slobounov, at the University of Maryland. She is an organized, time manager kinda gal - clearly. She set about finding a place to live for her and her brother in the fall.

She remained calm, attentive and focused on the tasks I gave her to do, which was essentially, "... take care of getting you and Hudson squared around and continue doing all the things you have going on."

She, like Hudson, stepped up and grew up. She was amazing. She was 19. It had its price. We, she and I, weren't completely ready for this separation. I knew she could handle it and I knew she "wanted" it, but on her terms, which this clearly was not. It was a struggle for both of us. And, yet again, my friends stepped up. Judi (Russell's wife) and one of my closest friends and "California Buddy", assured her that she would be there for her and Hudson. Jude went to Montana's meets, she went to the family opening BBQ for the UMD team. Judi went to the end of Montana's summer diving career banquet and awards. Montana told me she just would introduce Judi as her Mom because she got tired of explaining it. Judi of course was wonderful and she would explain she was really the "2nd Mom". Marlene Powell was one of mine - I had a few. I couldn't have made it as well without mine and I was thrilled that Montana had hers. Judi was always marvelous about calling me and telling me all about the wonderful things she was doing and goings on. Besides enjoying someone bragging on my children, I appreciated knowing that they were really doing great throughout this whole year.

We each had a "job", we were part of a team, a family, but we were each doing our task, very much alone, separate from each other, in solitude. We all stood tall, stayed focused, didn't whine, didn't demand of each other anything that wasn't absolutely necessary. It was a time that is both extremely painful for me but also one where I am immensely proud. We sucked it up.